Krishnamurti & the Art of Awakening

Krishnamurti Quote of the Day

Commentaries on Living Series I | Chapter 59 "How am I to Love?"

If you find the garden that you have so carefully cultivated has produced only poisonous weeds, you have to tear them out by the roots; you have to pull down the walls that have sheltered them. You may or may not do it, for you have extensive gardens, cunningly walled-in and well-guarded. You will do it only when there is no bartering; but it must be done, for to die rich is to have lived in vain. But beyond all this, there must be the flame that cleanses the mind and the heart, making all things new. That flame is not of the mind, it is not a thing to be cultivated. The show of kindliness can be made to shine, but it is not the flame; the activity called service, though beneficial and necessary, is not love; the much-practised and disciplined tolerance, the cultivated compassion of the church and temple, the gentle speech, the soft manner, the worship of the saviour, of the image, of the ideal - none of this is love.

Tags: love, self-knowledge

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Actually we have no love; we have sentiment; we have emotionality, sensuality, sexuality
Loneliness is the awareness of complete isolation; and are not our activities self-enclosing?
It requires an intense energy to stand alone.
Try remaining with the feeling of hate, with the feeling of envy, jealousy, with the venom of ambition; for after all, that's what you have in daily life, though you may want to live with love, or with the word `love'.
Respectability is a curse;
We don't love children, because we have no love in our own hearts. We just breed children.
Surely it must be possible to function in a sexual relationship with someone you love without the nightmare which usually follows.
Thought is the very denial of love, and it cannot enter into that space where the me is not.
Can the mind move from the known - not into the unknown, I don't know what that means - but be free and move away from the borders of the known?
There is a common need to escape, and mutually we use each other. This usage is called love.
When there is love there is no duty and no responsibility.
An intelligent mind acts in the field of thought intelligently, sanely, without resistance;
We are saying: Be dead to love; it doesn't matter. Live entirely in your intellect and in your verbal manipulations, your cunning arguments.
One has to find out the meaning of living, not merely giving an intellectual significance to it, but looking at what it means to live.
An ambitious man, whether he be a merchant, a politician, or a so-called saint is essentially a self-contradictory human being.
Sex plays an extraordinarily important part in our lives because it is perhaps the only deep, firsthand experience we have.
Love has no problem and that is why it is so destructive and dangerous.
When you say to somebody `I love you', what does it mean?
Is it possible to observe oneself and the world without any distortion, without any symbol, without any formula?
For love to be, memory, with all its complex processes, has to come to an end.
We are talking about something entirely different: freeing the mind of all ideals, and therefore of all contradiction.
Love has nothing to do with sentiment. Love is hard, in the sense that it is crystal clear and what is clear can be hard.
I am confused, torn by my own desires, so I say to myself, 'First clear up your own confusion. Perhaps you may be able to discover what love is through what it is not.'
The word 'innocence' means 'incapable of being hurt'.
Do we know what love is? Never knowing it is the wonder of it, the beauty of it.
To me, truth has no aspects; it is one, and that which is complete, whole, has no aspects.
The people who believe so much in God are really not in love with life.
To love is to be free - both parties are free.
Sex is a problem because we have lost that creative force which we call love.
If you truly thought about it you would see that our love is based on possessiveness.
What we have to understand is, not what kind of restrictions, scientific or religious, should be placed on wants and sensations, but how to bring about deep and enduring fulfilment.
The discovery of what is wise and what is foolish is the whole process of living.
Viewing it realistically, we can see that we love our family because it gives us joy; we love that which gives us pleasure, that which brings us a reward.
We do not know what God is, what Death is, and what Love is.
It is no good discussing theoretically what love is. We can only start with what we know, i.e., by examining and becoming aware of "what is."
The idea of loving everybody has very little meaning if you don't know how to love one, your child, your husband, your wife, your neighbour.
We know when we love somebody with all our being. It is surely a shattering experience because it implies a letting down of all barriers.
See what society has done to us - our education, our routine of business, the gathering of money, the performing of awful duties and so on. In all this, is there a sense of joy?
We talk about love, we talk about responsibility, duty, but there is really no love, and relationship is based on gratification, the effect of which we see in the present civilization.
Is love also a response, a reaction not to be named and so left to wither?
You then realise that you are alone and you have to be alone if you seek Truth.
There is real thinking only when there is no response to memory.
[Love] comes into being when you have no problem.
To love one another is one of the most difficult things, because there is in it always the shadow of pleasure and pain.
We can be sentimental over love; but that is not love.
The idea of cosmic love and loving mankind is really a rationalisation of the lack of love in one's heart for another.
We know when we love somebody with all our being.
When [he] faces 'what is' - i.e. he is lacking in love - and goes deeper and deeper into it, he finds that he is nothing though he has a mask, though he is talking about God and that behind all verbal things intellectually produced there is absolutely nothing.
To love truth, you must know truth; and to know truth is to deny it.
Question: I have plenty of money. Can you tell me what is the right use of money?
To be full of emotion is obviously not love, because a sentimental person can be cruel when his sentiments are not responded to, when his feelings have no outlet.
Love is the only thing that transforms.
Demand is born out of duality. 'I am un- happy and I must be happy.'
We are going to find out together what is true, and that requires an open mind, an intelligent mind, an enquiring mind, an alert mind;
Self-knowledge is not a conclusion, an end; it has no beginning and no end.
To go beyond the self-enclosing activities of the mind, you must understand them;
Until I, in my relationship to you, understand myself, I am the cause of chaos, misery, destruction, fear, brutality.
Self-knowledge is only from moment to moment, and therefore there is a creative happiness from moment to moment.
Man is a total process. The totality must be understood and not merely a part, however temporarily important this part may be.
Self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom.
To be fully aware of the present is an extraordinarily difficult task because the mind is incapable of facing a fact directly without deception.
Is it possible for the mind to be so attentive all the time, so sensitive that every challenge is answered completely and immediately, and to come to a state when there is no challenge and no response, when it is no longer in a state of experiencing?
We are attempting to understand ourselves, to open up the hidden corners of the mind, to see the various escapes, so that spontaneously we shall face life, deeply and fully.
Instead of being concerned with the change that must take place in ourselves, let us see if we have preconceived ideas of what we should be.
If we can but realize that it is not how another acts that is of primary importance, but how each one of us acts and reacts and if that reaction and action can be fundamentally, deeply understood, then relationship will undergo a deep and radical change.
If you can find out what are the causes of your thought-feeling, and from that discovery know how to think-feel, then there is the beginning of understanding.
In understanding myself, I shall understand my relationship with another, with the world; for in me, as in each one, is the whole;
Without self-knowledge, to make a choice between the opposites must inevitably lead to further ignorance and sorrow.
What is important is to become aware of every thought-feeling, from which arises self-knowledge.
Gentleness, compassion, is not the result of suppression or substitution but is the outcome of self-knowledge and right thinking.
We can think - feel completely only when we are not seeking a result, an end.
Through the present the past is revealed;
Do not depend on time but be arduous in the search of self-knowledge.
... through self-knowledge thought-feeling frees itself from its own self-created impediments of ill will and ignorance, worldliness and craving
Self-knowledge is a process of creative discovery which is hindered when thought-feeling is concerned with gain.
Constant alertness is arduous because we are lazy; we would rather gain through others, through much reading, but information is not self-knowledge.
Understanding is not substitution; mere change of patterns, of conclusions, does not yield understanding.
Seeking security is an indication that you do not know what you are.
Self-knowledge is not an end in itself. It is like following a stream to its source. Is there a source to a stream? Surely not.
Self-knowledge as distinct from factual knowledge or the knowledge of a technique, is not a matter of learning from another;
If you go into this problem [of self-knowledge] and become aware of its significance you will see what it reveals and that is what I have just now shown - a series of imitations, a series of habits, a series of clouds, and memories.
I mean by self-knowledge, not the mysterious, the hidden, the super-self, the higher self, the Atman or anything of that kind;
We use belief as the most gratifying means to guide ourselves.
Mere gathering of knowledge from books really conditions your mind because you search for security in knowledge, and you agree with what is pleasant to you;
Self-knowledge is the beginning of meditation - not the knowledge that you pick up from my books, from authorities, from gurus, but the knowledge that comes into being through self-inquiry, which is self-awareness.
To know the deeply concealed activities, the hidden motives, responses, thoughts and feelings, there must be tranquillity in the conscious mind; that is, the conscious mind must be still in order to receive the projection of the unconscious.
Without self-knowledge there is no right thinking, and without right thinking, what you do has no meaning, however noble your intentions are.
Experiencing is not possible to him for whom the result is far more important than the means;
Very few of us have self-knowledge, the knowledge of what one actually is.
You must understand where you are limited, the extent of your limitation; you must be passively aware of it, and in that passivity truth comes into being.