Krishnamurti & the Art of Awakening
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Understanding Loneliness

Talks by Krishnamurti in Europe | June 25th, 1955. London, England

Krishnamurti: Why do we depend on our children? And also, do we love our children? If it is love, then how can there be dependence, how can there be suffering? Our idea of love is that we suffer for others. Is it love that suffers? Or is it that I depend on my children, that through them I am seeking immortality, fulfillment, and all the rest of it? So I want my children to be something, and when they are not that, I suffer. The problem may not be the children at all; it may be me. Again we come back to the same thing - perhaps we do not know what it is to love. If we did love our children, we would stop all wars tomorrow, obviously. We would not condition our children. They would not be Englishmen, Hindus, Brahmins, and non-Brahmins; they would be children.

But we do not love, and therefore we depend on our children; through them we hope to fulfill ourselves. So when the child, through whom we are going to fulfill, does something which is not what we demand, then there is sorrow, then there is conflict.

Merely putting a question and waiting for an answer has very little meaning. But if we can observe for ourselves the process of this attachment, the process of seeking fulfillment through another, which is dependence and which must inevitably create sorrow - if we can see that as a fact for ourselves, then there may be something else, perhaps love. Then that relationship will produce quite a different society, quite a different world.

Question: When one has reached the stage of a quiet mind and has no immediate problem, what proceeds from that stillness?

Krishnamurti: Quite an extraordinary question, is it not? You have taken it for granted that you have reached that still mind, and you want to know what happens after it. But to have a still mind is one of the most difficult things. Theoretically, it is the easiest, but factually, it is one of the most extraordinary states, which cannot be described. What happens you will discover when you come to it. But that coming to it is the problem, not what happens after.

You cannot come to that state. It is not a process. It is not something which you are going to achieve through a practice. It cannot be bought through time, through knowledge, through discipline, but only by understanding knowledge, by understanding the whole process of discipline, by understanding the total process of one's own thinking, and not trying to achieve a result. Then, perhaps, that quietness may come into being. What happens afterwards is indescribable; it has no word and it has no "meaning."

You see, every experience, so long as there is an experiencer, leaves a memory, a scar. And to that memory the mind clings, and it wants more and so breeds time. But the state of stillness is timeless; therefore, there is no experiencer to experience that stillness.

Please, this is really, if you wish to understand it, very important. So long as there is an experiencer who says, "I must experience stillness," and knows the experience, then it is not stillness; it is a trick of the mind. When one says, "I have experienced stillness," it is just an avoidance of confusion, of conflict - that is all. The stillness of which we are talking is something totally different. That is why it is very important to understand the thinker, the experiencer, the self that demands a state which it calls stillness. You may have a moment of stillness, but when you do, the mind clings to it and lives in that stillness in memory. That is not stillness; that is merely a reaction. What we are talking of is something entirely different. It is a state in which there is no experiencer, and therefore such silence, quietness, is not an experience. If there is an entity who remembers that state, then there is an experiencer; therefore, it is no longer that state.

This means, really, to die to every experience with never a moment of gathering, accumulating. After all, it is this accumulation that brings about conflict, the desire to have more. A mind that is accumulating, greedy, can never die to everything it has accumulated. It is only the mind that has died to everything it has accumulated, even to its highest experience - only such a mind can know what that silence is. But that state cannot come about through discipline because discipline implies the continuation of the experiencer, the strengthening of a particular intention towards a particular object, thereby giving the experiencer continuity.

If we see this thing very simply, very clearly, then we will find that silence of the mind of which we are talking. What happens after that is something that cannot be told, that cannot be described, because it has no "meaning" - except in books and philosophy.