Krishnamurti & the Art of Awakening
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Pages from the Book of Life

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Mon, 10 Dec 2018 #151
Thumb_photo_reduite John Raica Canada 322 posts in this forum Offline

( continuing the selected excerpts from Mrs Pupul Jayakars K biography)

In his talks to the children and teachers K questioned the place of knowledge in the transformation of man. The minds of the children were alive, quickened by direct contact with K’s presence, the benediction, an ocean in which he walked and talked. The clarity and depth of the insights revealed in the talks were startling. In the talks K emphasized the two instruments available to the human mind: knowledge, which enables one to gain mastery over the material environment; and intelligence, which is born of observation. To the child he said, “A new mind is only possible when the religious spirit and the scientific attitude form part of the same movement of consciousness.” To K they were not separate movements that had to be fused, but a new movement inherent in intelligence and in the creative mind.

A child asked him about death. “There are two kinds of death,” he said. “Bodily death and death of thought.” The body, the physical organism, has to end. “We are not afraid of that. We are afraid that thought as the ‘me,’ which has lived, acquired money, family, the ‘me’ that wants to become important, will end.” He asked the child, “Do you see the difference between the physical dying and the ‘me’ dying?”

*He introduced the children to self-knowing and meditation. At the end of one talk, he said, “First of all, sit completely quiet, comfortably, sit very quietly, relax. Now, look at the trees, at the shape of the hills, and look at the quality, the color, of the trees. Do not listen to me. Watch and see those trees, the yellowing trees, the tamarind, and then look at the bougainvilleas. Look not with your mind, but with your eyes. After having looked at the colors, the shapes, and the shadows of the trees, of the hills, the rocks, then from the outside move to the inside. Close your eyes, close your eyes completely. You have finished looking at things outside, and now with your eyes closed, look at what is happening inside. Watch what is happening inside you. Do not think, but just watch. Do not move your eyeballs, just keep them very very quiet. There is nothing to see now, you have seen all the things around you, now you are seeing what is happening inside your mind. And to see what is happening inside your mind, you have to be very quiet inside. And when you are quiet, do you know what happens to you? You become very sensitive, you become very alert to things outside and inside. Then you find that the outside (world) 'is' ( not divided from ?) the inside (world) . Then you find out that the observer 'is' the observed."

“Can frustration flower? How do you question so that frustration unfolds, so that frustration flowers? It is only when thought flowers that it can naturally die. Like the flower in a garden, thought must blossom, it must come to fruition and then it dies. In the same way, thought must be given freedom (inner space ?) to 'die'. And the right question is whether there can be freedom for frustration to flower and to die?”

A teacher asked what he meant by “flowering.” Krishnamurti answered, “Look at the garden, the flowers in front over there! They come to bloom and after a few days they wither away, because it is their nature. Now, frustration must be given freedom so that it blossoms.

“Your question was: ‘Is there a momentum which keeps moving, keeping itself clean, healthy?’ That momentum, that flame which burns, can only be when there is freedom for everything to flower—the ugly, the beautiful, the evil, the good, the stupid—so that there is not a thing suppressed, so that there is not a thing which has not been brought out and examined and burnt out. And I cannot do that if through the little things I do not discover frustration, misery, sorrow, conflict, stupidity, dullness. If I only discover frustration through reasoning I do not know what frustration means.”

The teachers were unable to understand, and questioned further. “You see, to you flowering is an idea. The little mind always deals with symptoms and never with the fact. It does not have the (inner ?) freedom to find out. It is doing the very thing which indicates the little mind, for it says, ‘It is a good idea, I will think about it,’ and so it is lost for it is then dealing with idea, not with fact. It does not say, ‘Let it flower, and see what happens.’ Then it would discover. But it says, ‘It is a good idea, I must investigate the idea.’ ”
He told the teachers that most people were prisoners of little things. Then he asked, “Can I see the symptom, go into the cause, and let the cause flower? But, I want it to flower in a certain direction, which means I have an opinion on how it should flower. Now, can I go after that? Can I see that I prevent the cause flowering because I am afraid I do not know what will happen if I allow frustration to flower? So, can I go into why I am afraid? I see, that so long as fear exists there can be no flowering. So I have to tackle fear, not through the idea of fear, but tackle it as a fact, which means, can I allow fear to blossom? All this requires a great deal of inward perception. Can I just allow ‘what is’ to blossom?”

This post was last updated by John Raica Mon, 10 Dec 2018.

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Wed, 12 Dec 2018 #152
Thumb_photo_reduite John Raica Canada 322 posts in this forum Offline

Talking anbout lost & found pages from K's Book Of Life
here's a most memorable one recorded by Vanda Scaravelli in the early 60's

(...) The next day he (K) was ill with fever. In that state he ‘went off’ and Vanda recorded what was said by the being left in charge of the body. But it was no longer a child’s voice speaking; the voice sounded quite natural: "Don’t leave me. He has gone far away, very far away. It has been told to you to look after him. He should not have gone out. You should have told him. At table he is not all there. You must tell him with a look so that other people don’t see it, and he will understand. Nice face to look at. Those eyelashes are wasted for a man. Why don’t you take them? That face has been very carefully worked out. They have worked and worked for so long, so many centuries, to produce such a body. Do you know him? You cannot know him. How can you know the running water? You listen. Don’t ask questions. He must love you if he lets you come so near him. He is very careful not to allow his body to be touched by other people. You know how he treats you. He wants that nothing should happen to you. Don’t do anything extravagant. All that travelling was too much for him. And those people in the plane, smoking, and all that packing all the time, arriving and going, it has been too much for the body. He wanted to arrive in Rome for that lady [Vanda]. Do you know her? He wanted to come quickly for her. He gets affected if she is not well. All that travelling – no, I am not complaining. You see how pure he is. He allows nothing for himself. The body has been all this time on the edge of a precipice. It has been held, it has been watched like mad all these months and if it lets go, he will go very far. Death is near. I told him it was too much. When he is in those airports he is by himself. He is not quite there. All that poverty in India, and the people die. Terrible. This body too would have died had it not been found. And all that dirt everywhere. He is so clean. His body is kept so clean. He washes it with so much care. This morning he wanted to convey something to you. Don’t stop him. He must love you. Tell him. Take a pencil, tell him: “Death is always there, very close to you, to protect you. And when you take shelter you will die.

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Thu, 13 Dec 2018 #153
Thumb_photo_reduite John Raica Canada 322 posts in this forum Offline

The following 'lost & found' excerpts are describing the beginnings of K's ( kundalini ?) 'process' in 1923 ( from Mary Lutyens official K Biography)

( ...) Neither Leadbeater nor Mrs Besant was able to account for K’s strange condition. The former (CWL) was particularly mystified as is shown in this letter to Mrs Besant of May 12, 1923: It is evident that in all higher matters the methods of progress differ for each individual. I do not understand why such terrible physical suffering should come to our Krishna. Surely the Brahmin body is exceptionally pure, and should need less in the way of preparation than the average European vehicle. In my own case I have no recollection of anything in the least commensurate with this when I was passing through the same stage, though there was certainly a great deal of excessive discomfort in the development of the Kundalini. It may be, as you suggest, that this is part of the preparation of that body for its Great Occupant, yet nothing has been said as to any hastening of the Coming. But it might well be that years must elapse after the completion of this preparation, in order that the body might fully recover from it before having to undergo the strain of the actual occupancy. The case is so unique that I suppose the truth is that we can only wait and watch.

Lady Emily (Lutyens) was at Plymouth to meet K and Nitya on June 11. They went to stay at West Side House, Wimbledon, with Miss Dodge and Lady De La Warr, and Lady Emily was invited to stay there too for the first night. She vividly remembered having breakfast with the brothers alone the next morning and beginning to talk to K about his experience, whereupon he immediately went off into a dead faint. Nitya told her that K could not talk about it; if anyone mentioned it he just put his head down and became unconscious.

Now that I have seen more of Krishna & Nitya I can say more of the impression they make upon us all. Krishna seems outwardly little changed though perhaps more beautiful, but one is conscious at every moment of a controlled but immense concentrated power flowing from him. In his talk last Sunday he had no notes & spoke for 45 mins, fluently, easily & yet with such tremendous earnestness & force it was like listening to the throbbing of a great machine.

In the middle of August K’s ‘process’ started again even more severely. On August 15 (1923 ) Lady Emily began to write a diary letter to Mrs Besant describing these strange evening occurrences:

(...) At dinner time he was obviously hardly conscious & almost directly afterwards he went right ‘off’ and the body began to sob & groan. We all sat very quietly outside except the faithful Nitya— it lasted till 9 o’c. when he came round & went off to bed. But at 12 o’c. he began again, & again Helen & Nitya sat by him till 1 o’c. & once again in the early morning. He said that Helen was very nervous & naturally so as at first it is awful to witness such suffering & to realize his consciousness is not there. It is very curious that he seems to need a woman’s presence & also that the vitality of Americans seems to supply something that he needs.

Yesterday he was naturally very tired & we spent the morning quietly in the woods reading & he seemed very happy ... and again Krishna went to his own room with Nitya & Helen & was ‘off’ again until 9 o’c. This time he seemed in much less pain & did not groan much, but when he woke up at 9 o’c. he was very dazed & confused. ... Thursday [August 16] Yesterday was rather a curious day as at lunch time Krishna was very boisterous & full of jokes. It is very curious to watch the phases through which Krishna passes. Sometimes he is just a frolicsome boy with apparently not a serious thought in the world. Then swiftly he changes & becomes the Teacher—stern & uncompromising, urging his pupils onward towards swift progress. Again he is just tortured with the pain in his spine—not speaking & just wanting quiet—or most strange of all the figure that comes to dinner—beautiful, with unseeing eyes mechanically eating his food & shrinking at every sound. Most beautiful of all when he sits in meditation chanting mantrams—his soul going out in worship. These phases succeed each other in such swift succession that it is something of a strain to be always prepared for them.

Last night ... Krishna was away for just two hours—not in much pain apparently but just talking vaguely. He said that his body must not eat so much at night & must take more exercise.
Sat [August 18]. Last night just as he went off Krishna said that they must wake him up at 8.30. Then almost immediately some of the Great Ones came. Nitya apparently saw & heard Them on the balcony in front of Krishna’s room. When They left Nitya felt something of himself go after Them and then he fainted. Krishna was conscious of this & called to him & he came round at once. Apparently, Krishna’s body faints off & Helen & Nitya have to revive it. Sometimes he will come back if they just call him, sometimes they have to pour water on him but he asked them not to do this if they could help it as it hurt him so much. Before he came back his elemental said: ‘Krishna is standing there & laughing. I wonder what he is laughing at.Nitya suggested that he should ask him, but he said ‘Oh, no I couldn’t’. ...

Sunday. ... When Krishna went up last night he again said they must wake him at 8.30 & then he said that Someone was coming & asked Helen & Nitya to wait outside. This they did for about five minutes when they heard him fall with a bang & went in. He seems to have been in great pain last night & swooned a good many times. He told them at the end that he was too tired for more to be done, but it would be continued tonight. ...

Wed. Yesterday ... Krishnaji went off at the usual hour & suffered terribly. Helen was very tired & not very well & the physical 'elemental' seemed conscious of this & tried to control his groans—but at one time they were so bad that Krishna came back & asked what was happening. They said nothing & when he had gone again the physical elemental or whatever is in charge of the body was dreadfully distressed at having brought Krishna back & said Krishna had told him to control himself & he had done his best & could not help it.

Nitya told me of the message Master K.H. gave him. He said Krishna was wasting energy & that he ought to read books which would increase his vocabulary but not give him set opinions. [After this they all tried to learn a Shakespeare sonnet by heart every day.]

Thursday. Yesterday ... the evening performance was very bad, the worst that has yet been. An hour of concentrated agony. Krishna sent Nitya & Helen out of the room once as it was so bad. Downstairs we could hear him banging himself on to the floor & his awful groans & it was hard to keep one’s thoughts resolutely turned away. When I went up afterwards he looked so tired & his poor eyes all bloodshot. The pain has been chiefly in his head during these days here. ... He lies upon the floor upon a rug but sits up in his agony & then faints away & falls with a bang. Happily he seems to sleep soundly & in the morning he is not too tired. This morning we had a good walk & to see him leaping down the hills so full of grace & beauty & vitality it is almost impossible to believe what his poor body has endured each night.

Sunday. Yesterday the evening performance was more than usually agonizing ... just when he was at his worst the Church bells rang & caused him such a shock of agony that Krishna had to come back & apparently consulted with 'Them' if anything more could be done to the body that night. The physical elemental begged them to continue. Afterwards he said ‘That was a very narrow shave. Those bells nearly tolled for my funeral.’ When they rang again later Helen called Krishna to come back & take charge till they stopped again. He seemed very nervous all the rest of the time & even when I went up afterwards Krishna kept saying ‘What is the matter? I feel so uncomfortable tonight.’ He [the physical elemental] also told them that Krishna must go out & take exercise even when it rained. Monday. Last night was very bad. We could hear his dreadful cries & apparently he said ‘It has never been as bad as this’. After the worst is over he generally has about half an hour when he is a little child again. He then thinks that Helen is his Mother.

With this week a new phase of intensity seems to have begun in Krishna’s nightly experiences. On Monday [September 3] he suffered terribly or rather the body & was twice sick. On Tuesday he was in great pain all day & was sick again after every meal keeping nothing down except his evening milk. Wednesday he was told he must eat nothing but fruit & this he kept down. Thursday he was told to fast all day only drinking water. This reduced him to such a state of weakness that the evening’s work was wasted as nothing could be done to the poor exhausted body. He had to be given food & hot bottles to revive him, & when I went to say goodnight his poor face looked so thin & haggard. ... Krishna was very much annoyed at the waste of time & reproached Nitya & Helen for letting him fast, but of course they were following his own instructions. Now he is to use moderation—he no longer eats the evening meal, but has his bath while we eat, & then has his food after all is over. This seems to answer better.

They seem to work on him the last two nights with greater concentration & intensity—it has been very awful to hear his cries & sobs. It sounds like some animal in awful pain. But he has his food now soon after 8 o’c. & seems very cheerful & happy when I go up to say goodnight to him. ... It is wonderful how quickly Krishna’s body recuperates. Even after that day of fasting when he seemed too weak to move, next morning he walked and played rounders as vigorously as ever.

September 20. On that evening K brought through a message from the Master Kuthumi which he relayed to Nitya who immediately wrote it down: Nitya Listen. This is finished here, this is the last night. It will be continued in Ojai. But this depends upon you. You both should have more energy. On what you do in the next month will depend the success. You have to be exceedingly careful. Let nothing stand in the way. You have both of you to put on more fat, in order to have more energy. Let everything be consecrated to the success of this. It has been a success here. But Ojai depends entirely on you, there it will be continued with much greater vigour if you are ready

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Fri, 14 Dec 2018 #154
Thumb_photo_reduite John Raica Canada 322 posts in this forum Offline

Here are a few very rare excerpts from Mary Lutyens' & Mary Zimbalist’s interviews with K, dating from the late 70's :

ML: The teachings are not simple. How did they come out of that vacant boy?

K: You ( have to ?) admit a mystery. The boy was affectionate, vacant, not intellectual (but) what is important in this is the vacant mind. Was the vacancy intended for the manifestation? The boy must have been strange from the beginning. Was the body prepared through many lives or did this 'force' pick out the vacant body? This vacancy was guarded. By what?

ML: That is what we are trying to find out.

K: Right through life it has been guarded, protected. Amma [Mrs Besant] always saw that there were two initiates to guard me. I don’t think it is that (but) the vacancy has never gone away. At the dentist for four hours not a single thought came into my head. Only when talking and writing does ‘this’ come into play. I am amazed. From that age till now – eighty or so – to keep a mind that is vacant. What does it? You can feel it in the room now. It is happening in this room now because we are touching something very, very serious and it comes pouring in. The mind of this man from childhood till now is constantly vacant.

ML: When you give talks is your mind vacant?

K: Oh, yes, completely. I see that the boy’s mind is the same now. The other thing is here now. Don’t you feel it? It is like throbbing.

ML: The essence of your teaching is that everyone can have it.

K: Yes, is it kept vacant for this 'thing' to say, ‘Though I am vacant, you – X – can also have it’?

ML: You mean it is vacant in order to be able to say that this can happen to everyone?

K: That’s right. That 'thing' must have said, ‘There must be vacancy or 'it' cannot function.’ Did 'it' find a boy that was most likely to remain vacant? This boy apparently didn’t have any fear of going against Leadbeater, going against Theosophy, against authority. Amma, Leadbeater – they had great authority. That 'thing' must have been operating. ( However ?) this must be possible for all mankind. If not, what is the point of it? (...) Is the vacancy ( due to ?) a lack of selfishness – the self – my house, attachment? But how did the vacancy with its 'non-self' come about? An explanation is that K’s 'ego' might have been in touch with the Lord Maitreya and the Buddha and said, ‘I withdraw; that is more important than my beastly self.’ It doesn’t feel clean, right. The Lord Maitreya saw this body with the least ego, wanted to manifest through it and so it was kept uncontaminated. Another peculiar thing in all this is that K has always been attracted to the Buddha. Is that reservoir the Buddha? The Maitreya?

Mary Zimbalist: Do you ever feel 'something' coming into you?
K: 'It' comes into the room when we are talking seriously.

ML: Can we rule out something from outside?
K: I don’t.
There is an element in all this which is not man-made, thought-made, not self-induced. Is this something which we mustn’t touch, is not penetrable? I have often felt it is not my business, that we will never find out.To find out the truth of the matter you have to have your mind empty. Not my mind which is in emptiness. We have come to a point where our brains, our instruments of investigation, have no meaning.

ML: Might someone else be able to find out? And would it be right to enquire?

K: You might be able to because you are writing about it, but I can never find out. Water can never find out what water is. Can you feel it in the room? It is getting stronger and stronger. My head is starting. If you asked the question and said: ‘I don’t know’, you might find it. If I was writing it I would state all this. I would begin with the boy completely vacant.

ML: Do you mind it said that you want it explained?

K: I don’t care. But I’m sure if others put their minds to this they can do it. I’m absolutely sure of this. Also, I am sure I can’t find it.

ML: Will the 'mystery' ( of that ?) mind being found?

K: No, the mystery will be gone.

Mary Zimbalist: But the mystery is something sacred.

K: The sacredness will remain. ( ...)

ML: Your teaching is very complicated. If you read it would you understand it?

K: Oh, yes, yes.

ML: Who made the Teachings? You? The mystery? Knowing you as K, the man, it is hard for me to think of you making the teachings.
K: There is a sense of vacuity and then 'something' comes. But if I sat down to it I might not be able to. It is like – what is the biblical term? – 'revelation'. It happens all the time when I’m talking.

ML: It is difficult for me not to personify a 'power' – a protection by someone. A power to protect is too vast a conception for our limited brains but perhaps this power, which I think is really love, found a conductor in (K's ) 'vacant' mind.

K: It must be a special body. How did that body come about and remain uncorrupted? It means that the 'power' was guarding it.

ML: And training it – opening it up with ‘the process’?

K: That comes later.

ML: It started as soon as the body was strong enough.

K: Yes, it is a 'freak', in the kindly sense. The 'freak' was kept for the Teaching, the freak is totally unimportant. Anyone can accept the teaching, see the truth of it.

Mary Zimbalist: The freak is necessary to give out the teaching but non-freaks can receive it?

K: Yes, yes. Amma and Leadbeater maintained that a Bodhisattva was to manifest and they must find a body – the tradition of the Avatar manifesting. The Buddha went through all that, the suffering, etc., then threw it aside and became enlightened. What he taught was original but he went through all that. But here is a freak who didn’t go through any of it. Jesus may have been a freak too. The power must have watched over this body from the moment it was born. Was it the power wanting to manifest that created the boy or was it that the power saw a Brahminical family, an eighth child, and said, ‘That is the boy’? That thing is in the room. If you ask it what it is, it wouldn’t answer. It would say, ‘You are too small.’ We said the other day that there is a reservoir of Good that must manifest. But all this is sacred and I don’t know how you will convey not only the sacredness but everything else we have talked about. Why was he put through the Ojai experience? Was it because the body wasn’t sufficiently tuned?

Mary Zimbalist: You never tried to escape pain.

K: Of course not. You see it has begun – the pain – about half an hour ago. ? Are we trying to touch a mystery? The sacred is there and because it is sacred it is vast. What happens when I die? What happens here? Is it all depending on one man? Or are there people who will carry on? There are the books but they are not enough. If they really had it they would be freaks like K. The freak is saying, ‘Are there people who have drunk the waters and will carry on?’

(...) ML was able to talk to K again in the autumn at Brockwood. K began by saying that when he first started speaking he had used the language of Theosophy but that from 1922 (the year of his experience at Ojai) he had found his own language. He then commented again on his vacant mind and said, ‘When the mind is empty, it only knows it was empty afterwards.

ML: When does it cease to be empty?

K: When it is necessary to use thought, to communicate. Otherwise it is empty. During the seminar – while I am talking it comes out.

ML: Do you 'see' something?

K: No, 'it' comes out without my thinking about it. As it comes out, it becomes logical, rational. If I think it out carefully (like the Letters to the Schools ?) , write it down, nothing happens.

ML: Does it come from somewhere outside yourself?

K: I feel that there is another kind of protection which is not mine. There is a separate form of protection as if the future is more or less laid down. A different kind of protection, not only of the body. The boy was born with that peculiarity – he must have been protected to survive through all he did. Somehow the body is protected to survive. Some element is watching over it. Something is protecting it. The Maitreya (explanation ) is too concrete, is not simple enough. But I can’t look behind the curtain. I tried with Pupul and various Indian scholars who pressed me. I was inclined to believe that K was being used, and had been used since 1922, by 'something' from outside. This did not mean that he was a medium. A medium is separate from what he or she ‘brings through’, whereas K and whatever it was that manifested through him were for the most part one. His consciousness was as permeated with this 'other thing' as a sponge with water.

Before the year was out, K was to undergo another psychic experience, while he was in India. On 21 February 1980, at Ojai, he dictated an account of it to Mary, referring to himself in the third person:

" For a long time he had been awakening in the middle of the night with that peculiar meditation which has been pursuing him for very many years. This has been a normal thing in his life. It is not a conscious, deliberate pursuit of meditation or an unconscious desire to achieve something, so each meditation has a quality of something new and fresh in it. There is a sense of accumulating drive, unsought and uninvited. Sometimes it is so intense that there is pain in the head, sometimes a sense of vast emptiness with fathomless energy. Sometimes he wakes up with laughter and measureless joy.

With the arrival in Rishi Valley in the middle of November 1979 the momentum increased and one night in the strange stillness of that part of the world, with the silence undisturbed by the hoot of owls, he woke up to find something totally different and new. The ( meditative ) movement had reached the source of all energy. This must in no way be confused with 'God' or the highest principle, the Brahman, which are the projections of the human mind out of the unyielding desire for total security. It is none of those things. Desire cannot possibly reach it, words cannot fathom it, nor can the string of thought wind itself around it. One may ask with what assurance do you state that it is the source of all energy? One can only reply with complete humility that it is so. All the time that K was in India until the end of January 1980 every night he would wake up with this sense of the absolute. It is not a state, a thing that is static, fixed, immovable. The whole universe is in it, measureless to man. When he returned to Ojai in February 1980, after the body had somewhat rested, there was the perception that this is the Ultimate, the beginning and the ending and the absolute. There is only a sense of incredible vastness and immense beauty."

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Sat, 15 Dec 2018 #155
Thumb_photo_reduite John Raica Canada 322 posts in this forum Offline

Anyway, the following quite unique excerpts contain Mrs Mary Lutyens 'reading' of the 'facts' mentioned in the post above - as well as K's own view of them :

(...) "K stopped at Brockwood for a few days in February 1973 on his way from Bombay to Los Angeles. I was now deeply absorbed in writing the account of his early life which was to become the first volume of a three-volume biography, but I had misgivings as to the advisability of publishing it, the story was at once so crazy and yet somehow so sacred; therefore I went to Brockwood for the day to talk it over with him.

Alone with him after lunch in the large drawing room of the West Wing, I put my doubts to him. He replied instantly, ‘Can’t you feel 'it' in the room? Well, that is your answer.’ I am not in the least psychic but at that moment I did feel a slight throbbing in the room which might easily have been imagination. He evidently felt it coming from outside himself and giving its approval. ‘What is this "power"? What is behind you? I know you have always felt protected but 'what' or 'who' is it that protects you?’
‘It’s there, as if it were behind a curtain,’ he answered, stretching out a hand behind him as if to feel an invisible curtain. ‘I could lift it but I don’t feel it’s my business to.’ When I left that afternoon K had gone up to his room to rest, and my daughter, who had driven me from London, was waiting impatiently in the car outside. Having said goodbye to people in the school, I had to return to the West Wing to get my coat from the cloakroom. As I passed the open door of the drawing room, with no thought in my head but to hurry, a great power rushed out at me, terrifying in its force. Was it hostile to me? One thing I do know is that it was not imaginary or auto-suggestive. I came to the conclusion that it was not personally hostile. It was as I imagine it would be like to be caught in the whirlwind of a propeller. Was this the source, the energy, that went through K so frequently?

I did not know at the time that the year before, at Ojai, K had been questioned on this same subject of the 'power' behind him by a group of trustees of the American Foundation, K had said on that occasion, speaking of himself in the third person:

"First of all we are enquiring into something which K himself has never enquired into. He has never said, ‘Who am I?’ I feel we are delving into something which the conscious mind can never understand, which doesn’t mean I am making a mystery of it. There is 'something'. Much too vast to put into words. There is a tremendous reservoir, as it were, which if the human mind can touch can reveal something which no intellectual mythology, invention, dogma, can ever reveal. I am not making a mystery of it – that would be a stupid childish trick, a most blackguardly thing to do because that would be exploiting people. Either one creates a mystery when there isn’t one or there is a mystery which you have to approach with extraordinary delicacy and hesitancy. And the conscious mind can’t do that. It is there. It is there but you cannot come to it, you cannot invite it. There is something but the brain can’t understand it".

K was most indignant when it was suggested at this same meeting that he might be a medium. ‘Of course I’m not a medium; that’s obvious. That [explanation] would be too childish, too immature.’

Was he aware, he was asked, that he was being used? ‘No. That would be like a petrol station which is being used by others.’ He then asked in his turn: ‘Is something going on in the brain uninvited by me – the various experiences like at Ojai and other times? For instance, I woke up at 3.30 and there was a tremendous sense of energy, bursting energy, great beauty, all kinds of things happened. This kind of experience is going on all the time when the body isn’t too tired.

At this time K described more fully to Mary Zimbalist this waking in the night. She noted it down and passed it on to me in a letter: ‘I woke at three with a sense of extraordinary power, light burning in the mind. There was no observer. The testing was from the outside but the observer didn’t exist. There was only that and nothing else. The power penetrated the whole being. I sat up and it lasted three hours.’ He told Mary that he often woke with some extraordinary feeling of new and vast energy.

A few years later, he asked her (MZ) to write down another experience he had had, which was again relayed to me in a letter: " Before beginning asanas, he [K] generally sits very quietly, thinking about nothing. But this morning a strange thing took place, most unexpected and in no way invited – and besides you cannot invite these things. Suddenly it appeared as though in the very centre of his brain, head, right inside, there was a vast space in which was unimaginable energy. It was there, but nothing whatever is registered, for that which is registered is a waste of energy. If one can so call it, it was pure energy in a limitless state, a space that had nothing but this sense of immensity. One doesn't know how long it has lasted but this morning it was there, and as this is being written it is as though it was taking root and becoming firm. These words are not really the thing itself".

K’s descriptions of the ( intelligent ?) energy that entered him should be carefully noted in view of the tape recording he made shortly before his death, the last he ever made.
Many people will feel that any attempt to solve the mystery of Krishnamurti is not only a waste of time but wholly unimportant; it is the teaching that matters, not the man. But for anyone who knew the young Krishna and participated in some of those early events and cannot accept that the teaching developed in his own brain, a tantalising enigma will remain unless, perhaps, one can succeed in emptying one’s own brain. In much the same way, K had said in that last tape:

" I was telling them this morning – for seventy years that super-energy – no – that immense energy, immense intelligence, has been using this body. I don’t think people realise what tremendous energy and intelligence went through this body – there’s twelve-cylinder engine. And for seventy years – was a pretty long time – and now the body can’t stand any more. Nobody, unless the body has been prepared, very carefully, protected and so on – nobody can understand what went through this body. Nobody. Don’t anybody pretend. Nobody. I repeat this: nobody amongst us or the public, know what went on. I know they don’t. And now after seventy years it has come to an end. Not that that intelligence and energy – it’s somewhat here, every day, and especially at night. And after seventy years the body can’t stand it – can’t stand any more. It can’t. The Indians have a lot of damned superstitions about this – that you will and the body goes – and all that kind of nonsense. You won’t find another body like this, or that supreme intelligence operating in a body for many hundred years. You won’t see it again. When he goes, it goes. There is no consciousness left behind of that consciousness, of that state. They’ll all pretend or try to imagine they can get into touch with that. Perhaps they will somewhat if they live the teachings. But nobody has done it. Nobody. And so... that’s that ".

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Mon, 31 Dec 2018 #156
Thumb_photo_reduite John Raica Canada 322 posts in this forum Offline

The following inspired lines are from another 'lost & found' page from the Book of Life. As for the name of the author...well, who cares ?

“Do not think that I am indifferent to the sufferings of the weakest ones because I give my time and attention to the strong. Like the ministering angels, I go where I am most needed. Only the strong ones can learn what I have to teach. The weak ones are the charges of the Messiahs and their followers. But nevertheless, between us and the Messiahs there is brotherhood and there is mutual understanding. Each works in his own field. The Messiahs help the many; we help the few. Their reward in love is greater than ours; but we do not work for reward any more than they do. Each follows the law of his being.

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6 hours ago #157
Thumb_photo_reduite John Raica Canada 322 posts in this forum Offline

More 'lost & found' pages from K's Journals

( Experiential Hint:) If you lose touch with nature you lose touch with ( the whole consciousness of ) humanity.

(...) By chance it happened that one lived for some months in a small dilapidated house, high in the mountains, far from other houses. There were lots of trees and as it was spring there was perfume in the air. The solitude was of the mountains and the beauty of the red earth. The towering peaks were covered with snow and some of the trees were in bloom. One lived alone amidst this splendour. The forest was nearby, with deer, an occasional bear and those big monkeys with black faces and long tails, and of course there were serpents too. In deep solitude in strange ways one was related to them all. One could not hurt a thing, even that white daisy on the path. In that relationship the 'space' (the psychological 'distance' ?) between you and them didn't exist; it was not contrived; it was not an intellectual or an emotional conviction that brought this about but simply it was so.

A group of those large monkeys would come around, especially in the evening; a few were on the ground but most of them would be sitting in the trees quietly watching. Surprisingly they were still; occasionally there would be a scratch or two and we would watch each other. They would come every evening now, neither too close nor too high among the trees, and we would be silently aware of each other. We had become quite good friends but they didn't want to encroach upon one's solitude. Walking one afternoon in the forest one came suddenly upon them in an open space. There must have been well over thirty of them, young and old, sitting among the trees round the open space, absolutely silent and still. One could have touched them; there was no fear in them and sitting on the ground we watched each other till the sun went behind the peaks.

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