Krishnamurti & the Art of Awakening
General Discussion | moderated by Dev Singh

Krishnamurti jokes, humor, and levity


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Tue, 21 Jan 2020 #31
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1585 posts in this forum Offline

Jack Pine wrote:
See how Trump-like I am? I am a liar to begin with......

We knew that already.

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Tue, 21 Jan 2020 #32
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1585 posts in this forum Offline

.
joke (j?k)
n.
1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank: played a joke on his roommate.
3. Something that is of ludicrously poor quality: Their delivery service is a joke.
4. Informal
a. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
b. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office

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Wed, 22 Jan 2020 #33
Thumb_img_0244 Jack Pine United States 5790 posts in this forum Offline

One self, why do you continue to disgrace yourself with your obvious lack of intelligence and maturity? Having a dialogue with you is like having one with a petulant 7 year old. You can't even come up with a mature response. Instead of responding with something intelligent you change the pronouns in something I have written and then post it. Who are you trying to fool?

You are absolutely clueless as to how ridiculous you appear. I have asked this before but never received an answer: How old are you and do your parents know you are spending so much time on an adult site you neither understand or are able to adequately participate on?

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Wed, 22 Jan 2020 #34
Thumb_001 Sean Hen Spain 931 posts in this forum Offline

What is Krishnamurti's least favourite song in the film "Shrek"?

I'm a believer.

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Thu, 13 Feb 2020 #35
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

An obese man came to see Krishnamurti.

Krishnamurti said, "Sir, you are the world."

The man replied, "I realize I need to lose a few pounds but you don't have to compare me to the entire planet."

Krishnamurti was silent for a while.

Then Krishnamurti said, "Sir, the immensity."

This post was last updated by idiot ? Thu, 13 Feb 2020.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #36
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

Krishnamurti had a younger brother.

His name was Nitwit.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #37
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

K said think on these things.

Then K said thought never solved anything.


K said you are the world.

Then K said there is no self. Which must mean there is no world, right?


K said the mirror of relationship.

Then K said the observer is the observed. Which must mean you are the person you are in relationship with, if you're observing that person. Who must be you. But the relationship is a mirror. Which must mean that the mirror is reflecting the one who is the same as... Oh, never mind.

This post was last updated by idiot ? Fri, 14 Feb 2020.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #38
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1585 posts in this forum Offline

What is the punch line of the above joke!?

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #39
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

Annie Besant: "Nitya, there's going to be a Theosophical field trip to the National Forest this Friday."

Nitya: "But Dr. Besant, there are no National Forests in India."

AB: "Don't be insolent, Nitya. Are you trying to wreck the joke before it even gets started? Nitya, it will be your job to look after your brother."

N: "But I'm the younger brother! Why can't K look after me?"

AB: "Do you astral travel every night to Master Moron and Master Hooty Coochy?"

Nitya began to pout and thought, "I can fake that baloney just as well as K." But Dr. Besant had already left.

Friday arrived. And to Nitya the road trip seemed to last forever. Meanwhile K contentedly looked out the bus window. Nothing disturbed K, except when the bus hit a goat and the driver didn't notice.

When they finally arrived, Nitya wanted to go after a cute girl scout he had seen. But K said that he wanted to disassemble the bus and put it back together. Instead they began walking down a trail in the opposite direction from everyone else. The forest was beautiful.

Nitya was still thinking about the girl when he turned around and saw K closely examining the bark of a tree. K had a vacant expression, like an imbecile. Nitya rolled his eyes and was bored. It was only moments later that Nitya turned around again and K was gone! But Nitya soon caught up to him. This time K was on all fours following a caterpillar.

Later a similar thing happened. Nitya turned around and again K was gone!

N: "Where are you? K! K! Where are you?"

No answer. But Nitya heard some soft footsteps and hurried off in their direction. Eventually he caught up to K.

N: "Now you've done it. We're completely lost!"

They really did seem to be in the middle of nowhere.

K, rather dramatically: "This is a pathless land."

N: "Ain't that the truth."

K winked one eye.

This post was last updated by idiot ? Fri, 14 Feb 2020.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #40
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1585 posts in this forum Offline

One Self wrote:
What is the punch line of the above joke!?

Never mind.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #41
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

Krishnamurti tells his joke about the guy who finds the truth and the devil is following behind. Why is the devil smiling? Because he's going to help the guy organize it.

Everyone in the audience laughs.

Then K has to excuse himself because he is late. You see, one of the Krishnamurti Foundations needs work on its organization.

This post was last updated by idiot ? Fri, 14 Feb 2020.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #42
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

K's freedom from the known could be a bit trying for others:

Once K decided to help with stuffing fundraising letters into the appropriate envelopes. K asked, "Okay, how do we do this?" The volunteer replied, "Krishnaji, you put the letter in the envelope." K did as the volunteer told him. Then K asked, "Okay, how do we do this?"

This post was last updated by idiot ? Fri, 14 Feb 2020.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #43
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

K eyed the new Mercedes and got that gleam in his eye. He completely disassembled it and then carefully put it back together.

D. Rajagopal came up afterward and said to him, "You're always talking about the mechanical brain. Aren't you being mechanical when you take apart an entire car and put it back together?"

K said nothing. Raja, thinking he had finally gotten the best of K, got into the car and started to drive away. The car immediately fell to pieces, with Raja left clutching a disconnected steering wheel.

K chuckled and patted his front pocket. Then he said, "I guess that little screw was important after all."

This post was last updated by idiot ? Fri, 14 Feb 2020.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #44
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1585 posts in this forum Offline

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #45
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1585 posts in this forum Offline

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We’ll see about that.

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #46
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

Krishnamurti and David Bohm decided that their dialogue wasn't hip enough for young people. So they worked on improving it:

DB: Yo! K, my man! Wassup?

K: Who da bomb?

DB: I dee bomb! That's right! I'm D. Bohm!

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Fri, 14 Feb 2020 #47
Thumb_001 Sean Hen Spain 931 posts in this forum Offline

Question: What was the name of the book that Krishnamurti wrote about gardening, in which he criticised the overuse of small, plastic humanoid figures in many gardens?

Answer: Freedom from the gnome.

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Sat, 15 Feb 2020 #48
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1585 posts in this forum Offline

Yawn..

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Sun, 16 Feb 2020 #49
Thumb_anigif Ken D United States 15 posts in this forum Offline

From "In the Presence of Krishnamurti" by Mary Zimbalist

"Mary: Kojak was a big fixture in our lives in those days. Krishnaji liked to watch Kojak.

S: I remember.

M: Kojak for those who don’t know…

S: No, we all know!

M: We all know? Well, future generations may not know Kojak. You better explain it.

S: Alright. It was a television program with a bald New York detective by the name of Kojak, and it was very funny and it was a good program.

M: Yes, yes. And I will insert my own comment, which is that Krishnaji would laugh because it was very funny, but he wasn’t quite sure what he was laughing at because he didn’t quite understand the New York accent! And as a New Yorker, I was called on to translate! But he still caught on that it was funny because he would ask me, but he’d be laughing as he asked."

"Sow the seed of freedom, which is to awaken intelligence; for with that intelligence you can tackle all the problems of life." Krishnamurti

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Sun, 16 Feb 2020 #50
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 757 posts in this forum Offline

K needed a haircut. Naturally it was decided that he should go to the most expensive London hair salon.

Later, when K arrived for his talk, everyone was aghast. K's head was completely shaved and it just looked awful. But it was too late to do anything about it.

The first question from the audience was, "What is love?"

Immediately K pulled out a Tootsie pop and answered, "Who loves ya, baby?"

This post was last updated by idiot ? Wed, 19 Feb 2020.

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