Krishnamurti & the Art of Awakening
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On Relationships and Conflict


Displaying posts 151 - 155 of 155 in total
Thu, 31 Oct 2019 #151
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 782 posts in this forum Offline

Sean Hen wrote:
If we're at all sensitive to other people, we surely won't go around upsetting them unnecessarily.

I agree with what you write in post 153, however I think we have to be careful of the last sentence that I have quoted above. I have known people, and you probably have, too, that are so worried about not upsetting others that they walk around on egg shells. There's a point where you are so nice and accommodating that you are no longer genuine. Sometimes the kindest thing is honesty, delivered with care, and it may be somewhat upsetting.

To be aware in a kind, loving way takes care of everything. It's the ultimate in being ethical and doesn't require any preconceived ethical ideas, yes?

I'm pretty sure you agree because you have been honest with me and I appreciate it.

This post was last updated by idiot ? Thu, 31 Oct 2019.

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Thu, 31 Oct 2019 #152
Thumb_001 Sean Hen Spain 935 posts in this forum Offline

idiot ? wrote:
I agree with what you write in post 153, however I think we have to be careful of the last sentence that I have quoted above. I have known people, and you probably have, too, that are so worried about not upsetting others that they walk around on egg shells. There's a point where you are so nice and accommodating that you are no longer genuine. Sometimes the kindest thing is honesty, delivered with care, and it may be somewhat upsetting.

I think what you have written is very true. It's often difficult to get this right and I am sure I am sometimes guilty of compromising honesty by being a bit too nice. One interesting thing is how there are cultural differences in expressing things in a frank, honest manner. Although it's obviously a huge generalisation, I would say that here in Spain, and perhaps in the Mediterranean in general, people usually express how they feel in quite a direct, frank manner. In the UK, there is often a tendency to not talk about certain taboo things in case this upsets people. Honesty can be very communicative if delivered with care.

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Fri, 01 Nov 2019 #153
Thumb_avatar idiot ? United States 782 posts in this forum Offline

Sean Hen wrote:
I would say that here in Spain, and perhaps in the Mediterranean in general, people usually express how they feel in quite a direct, frank manner.

Yes, it is wonderful that you live somewhere different than where you grew up and see interesting cultural and language differences.

Here in LA, many Americans only speak English but Spanish is perhaps the second most spoken language and I think it's fun to speak. I was amazed at how LA Spanish, which is largely Mexican, and perhaps a bit Salvadorean and Guatamalan, is quite different from Madrid Castillano. Of course, there are pronunciation differences. But also many of the commonly used words are different. In Madrid, I heard "Vale, vale" frequently. Whereas we say, "Ok" or "Está bién." We do say "Vale la pena" but not so much "Vale" all by itself. I think you say "conducir" whereas we say "manejar" for "to drive."

Of course, British English versus American is similar. It's not just different pronunciations and spellings sometimes but also different common words. Like "trainers" versus "sneakers." I guess you know all this, but it is interesting.

Culturally, talking to strangers is an interesting one. No doubt I speak comfortably to strangers much more so than many native to London. But I, too, have my limits. Young people here working at the grocery store seem to have no problem asking for details about how I will be spending the afternoon. I usually answer with some non-answer like, "Well, I'll be spending my afternoon spending my afternoon." I'm pleasant but not forthcoming and they take the hint.

So there are all kinds of interesting differences between people, which makes things so much more fun than if the opposite were the case.

This post was last updated by idiot ? Fri, 01 Nov 2019.

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Fri, 01 Nov 2019 #154
Thumb_screenshot_20180710-010635 One Self United States 1638 posts in this forum Offline

I don't know what it means to talk nice to people. Does it mean to say hello or try to say something that they like or give them positive energy and so on ? But things are different in chatrooms. In chatrooms like this one everybody is unknown to each other. The only tool that we have in chatrooms are words. Words are all we share in here. Therefore we have the same problem. Misunderstanding simple English words.
It is probably the unconscious ego that tries to misunderstand words to make itself important. .

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Mon, 04 Nov 2019 #155
Thumb_001 Sean Hen Spain 935 posts in this forum Offline

idiot ? wrote:
Yes, it is wonderful that you live somewhere different than where you grew up and see interesting cultural and language differences.

Hello idiot?. Yes, I think it is interesting to have different cultural references. Perhaps this does help one see things a little from the outside. Or maybe not. Anyway, I enjoyed hearing about life and language in Los Angeles. People, places and countries are always more complex than our mental images of them, aren't they? Take Spain for example - although Castillian Spanish is spoken throughout the country, there are several other official languages including Catalan, Basque and Galician. Catalan is particularly widely spoken in Catalonia and is the mother tongue of many of the inhabitants there. As you travel around Spain you can enjoy the regional culinary specialities as the the tradition of cooking is still quite strong. Many dishes contain meat or seafood which is not so good for the vegetarian. Still, there are plenty of markets selling high quality pulses, eggs, fruit, vegetables, cheeses and wines.

I think Krishnamurti had a fondness for Italy. In one of the Krishnamurti readers, I think, he writes about sitting around the dinner table with a group of people including a famous avante-guard Italian film director who was almost certainly Federico Fellini. I remember while I was at Brockwood Park in the late 1980s I met an Italian woman and I commented on this. "Oh", she said. "I was at that dinner too." I thought that that must have been a pretty interesting experience.

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